Thoughts I had so I could have a smooth two service Sunday with both children.

In the shop on Saturday afternoon: What snacks do we need? They need to be interesting enough to keep them distracted, but not so sugary that they get hyper and mess around (like when I had to take the umbrella off Sophia during the sermon a couple of weeks ago, because she accidentally hit Aidan on the head with it). I need to make sure there’s enough for both of them, that they both will like it, and if Aidan wanders off with something that Sophia likes, that there’s something else for her. I need to make sure all this can be communicated and dealt with while I am leading worship. Blimey, there’s a lot of plastic packaging in this shopping basket. This is so bad for the planet!

Later that evening once the kids were down: I need to read over my first sermon. I need to finish the props for the parade service talk and make sure they’re packed. I’ll print off the talk, cut it up and put it in my preaching folder. That can all go in one bag. Next I’ll pack the nappies, wipes and snacks I bought this afternoon into the changing bag. I just need to remember to add fresh fruit and drinks in the morning. Where should I hide some chocolate buttons in my handbag for extra bribery purposes? It needs to be a place which is easily accessible for me, but not easy for the kids to spot in case they decide to have a nosey in my bag during the course of the morning. I checked Aidan’s gums earlier and he’s cut one tooth today, but I think three more are coming up too! I should try and rememeber calpol for tomorrow. Oh – did I set the alarms?!

Next morning: my first service is at 9, Nathan’s is at 8.30. Four people getting ready takes about 20 minutes per person, which means we are already late. Aidan: nappy, clothes, calpol, teeth, breakfast drink, shoes. Sophia: Rainbows Uniform, teeth, hair, breakfast, drink, shoes. Nathan and I tag team our way though until Nathan needs to go out at 8. There’s still so much to be done. Why does the last 15 minutes before we go out always feel like it goes by in 15 seconds? Why does Sophia want to take one particular dolly with her this morning? Why haven’t I managed to sort out the fruit? Why are we going to be late? Will they be OK sharing a drink? I nearly forgot the juice for communion! I hope this won’t go down too badly today. Blimey, I’m still wearing my crocs! I need to run back upstairs to get my heels.

On the way to church: Why didn’t I take the bread roll out of the freezer on Friday? I hope somebody else has thought to stick it on defrost in the microwave. I really should pray. Deep breaths. Please help us all to worship you this morning, Lord. Where is my pre-church music playlist? Song4Lovers, that will do. I used to listen to this song on the bus every day with Amy and I never knew it was about Reverends 20 years ago. What is that sound? Sophia and Aidan have found a book which plays very loud farmyard animal sounds. Where did that even come from? They won’t be able to take that into church. The people at the early service won’t like it. Doesn’t Crosby have some lovely green leaves? Sophia is asking if we can go in through the office entrance. I think she wants to see the snack drawer. But if Aidan sees the snack drawer and isn’t allowed anything from it, he will get upset and the people at the early service won’t like it, and if they has a sugary snack, they’ll be too active and the people at the early service won’t like it. I’ll tell Sophia she can choose a snack from the drawer after the early service if she is good. Oh thank goodness, there’s a space at the front of church so we can go straight in and the snack drawer can be avoided – for now.

At church before the service: Sophia out of the car, standing on the pavement with Amber. Aidan out of the car in one arm. The three bags in the other hand. Let’s go. Aidan is very upset that I wouldn’t let him bring that book in. I’m so grateful that our warden has picked up the bags so I can focus on calming Aidan. Oh he’s settling, thank goodness. Let’s get the snacks out. Let’s find some toys and books. Let’s check the order of service, notices and Bible Readings. Let’s check the bread roll – already sorted, wonderful people! Aidan has taken all of the cheese out of Sophia’s cheese and cracker snack. I hope she’ll be happy to swap for his babybel. Take laptop out of bag so I can do the sermon. What colour are we in? Oh, white, of course, it’s Easter! 8.55, time to get robes on.

At church during the service: if I listed how many times I check that both children are in my direct or peripheral vision, or how many times I thought ‘have they got what they need?’ or ‘Is Aidan going to trip?’ we would be here at long time.

Sending them somewhere else that isn’t church on a Sunday morning has never been an option for our family. If they choose to be somewhere else later on down the line, that’s another conversation.

My thought has ways been this: if we don’t integrate them now, when do we? When they start school? But they won’t be used to it. When they’re teens? But they probably won’t want to come by then. The only option has ever been this: they come with us.

Yes, it’s costly. It costs those who participate, who listen and watch. Things aren’t always still or quiet. Things don’t always flow – I once has to pause the service to take Sophia to the toilet when she was potty training. Things don’t always look right – we have a highchair in the sanctuary for Aidan at the moment. I have even ignored my own theological conviction about giving small children communion because they both want to be involved with what everyone else is doing, and if I don’t give them communion, they’ll cry and that’s not going to help people connect with God at such a special moment. I’m also fairly sure that it’s not what Jesus would do.

It’s costly for us four because we don’t worship together as a family. We believe we are called here, to these places, in this season.

And do you know what?

It’s very costly for me. Because I haven’t even captured half of what goes through my head on a Sunday morning. So many people say I make it look easy (although not every comment is supportive). But it is not easy.

I’m trying to hold the responsibility of discipleship to this community with the greater responsibility of raising my children to be people of faith.

And that is all I have to say about this Ministry Mum tonight.