This afternoon I stumbled across a memory stick that had been kicking around for ages. I plugged it into my laptop and to my surprise, it contained the videos from our wedding! I had a lovely hour or so reminiscing and then I got on with my evening.
It has struck me though, that we are no longer newlyweds. This time three years ago, that memory stick would have been kept in a very important place and I could have told you what the pen drive looked like without checking (turquoise with ‘Toshiba 16 GB’ written on it). I would never have imagined a time when that very memory stick would be shuffling around my desk for months on end without me having a clue what was on it.
But, like I said, we are no longer newlyweds. Time has passed and I can say that, as lovely as the wedding videos, photos and cards are, they do not feature quite as much in my thinking as they once did. This is so much the case that my anniversary blog has been so low down on my To Do list that it has taken me over two weeks to write!
So what can I say about marriage now that we’re three years in?
Well, this last year has been mixed. It’s gone from the sublime to the ridiculous. Half the year involved the usual ministerial madness, and the other half has been all things Covid. We’ve had an interview each, a new job each and a house move. I’ve doubled my medication, Nathan has passed his driving test and we have discovered a shared love of bombay mix! We have grown, changed and been surprised. We said goodbye to four churches and hello to two. We’ve doubted, we’ve fought, we’ve struggled, we’ve pushed through and we’ve had each other’s backs.
Moving house back in May was much easier this time than last because I now know Nathan so much better and we’ve done it before. Even starting new jobs, which wasn’t easy, was smoother than when we started our curacies because we know each other better and we’ve done it before.
It’s not that we always get it right, because we definitely don’t. I could still rant until I’m blue in the face about the toilet seat / laundry basket / toast crumbs in the Lurpak / phone chargers that go walkies / the massive bag of leaves that’s been sat in front of the garage since we arrived in Aintree. Some days, I do rant, and poor Nathan has a nagging wife to deal with on top of everything else.
But good communication, a heap of compromise and a tonne of grace go a long way.
I still maintain that my Mum’s advice about trying to be ‘the best person for your person everyday’ is utter gold. Some days it’s been hard trying to be the best person for Nathan at the same time as trying to be the best vicar I can be, not to mention us both keeping up with family, friends, exercise, cooking, housework and self care!
But through it all, I am so grateful for Nathan. I am so grateful that I had him throughout lockdown. I am so grateful that he reminds me of God’s call when I forget. I’m so grateful that he makes me tea in the morning. I’m so grateful that he’s there to bounce ideas off. And I am so grateful that he passed his driving test!
So, here’s to the next year, and whatever it holds!