Sunday 29th November 2020

So here we are two weeks into knowing that we are pregnant! Dino (baby’s nickname because Dino Thorpe sounds like dinosaur) is the size of a blueberry/chocolatechip/ladybird, and probably has a beating heart by this point.

What can I say about this week? Well, I haven’t cried quite as much, and I am marginally less angry/delighted/frustrated about things.

But I am very tired. The funeral on Monday and preaching today wiped me out for the rest of the day. Before Covid, I would have been able to have a bit of a rest and then get a whole load of admin or housework done afterwards, but that isn’t the case at the moment! And my normal 7 and a half hours just aren’t cutting it in the slightest!

Of course, it’s hard to know if it’s the pregnancy or the after effects of Covid making me tired. I reckon it’s probably a bit of both. But having had Covid certainly helps me explain why people tell me I’m looking exhausted or why I’m trying ‘not to do too much’ over December.

With regards to the big secret my mum is definitely on to me. I tried to explain my crazy moods away with ‘I’m changing my meds’, which is partly true because as soon as I learned they could damage Dino’s heart, circulation and growth, I wouldn’t take another one. I absolutely do not recommend going cold turkey on anti-depressants at the same time as pregnancy hormones start flying around your body!

Anyway, my Mum was asking about my change of medication and I could tell she was putting 2 and 2 together… But if Mrs Hinch’s Mum can tell that she’s pregnant before she knows herself, it’s definitely possible that my Mum can see I’m not quite right over Facebook messenger!

Anyway, after promising myself that I wouldn’t buy anything at all until after the first scan – because that would get my hopes up – I have bought some rainbow muslin cloths. I know I shouldn’t have done but they were so cute and they were on a Black Friday deal. You know I’m a sucker for a bargain.

So here I am excitedly holding the muslin to my face. How soft are they?! Honestly, they are just gorgeous.

Another thing that has happened this week is that I have discovered comfy bras. I mean, actually comfy rather than pretending to be comfy but actually digging into you. I have well and truly seen the light! I am never going back to normal bras, pregnant or not!

Nathan seems to be getting increasingly excited, and he’s so helpful and kind. When I had to go out on Thursday morning feeling sick, I found a sick pot to take in the car with me. As I was marching towards my car with my handbag over one arm and a Heroes chocolates tub under the other (thanks Liverpool archdeaconry!), Nathan leaned out of his study window and asked me if I would like him to drive me to church and then pick me up when I was done. I said I was fine, thank you, but he is such a love.

We had a funny moment in Asda one evening. The smells coming from the hot chicken counter were divine and we promised ourselves some on the way out. I chose 8 garlic and herb pieces and I made us rush to the checkout to get out so I could eat them. It’s a good job Nathan was paying because I was trying my best not to actually dribble. We got out of the shop, I ran to the car, got in and plunged into the bag. Nathan found this hilarious and as he put the shopping in the boot, I ate two pieces. In the next ten minutes, I ate another four, and I wasn’t remotely put off by the spines and ribs as I usually would have been. That being said, when Nathan turned the leftovers into a tagine a couple of days later, I was very close to chucking up. It’s definitely no reflection on his cooking, which is amazing – it’s just me!

Although I said I have been crying less, I am very emotional about Mary. Yes, you heard right, Mary. It’s the run up to Christmas and Mary is just so close to my heart. This young woman, probably younger than me by ten years, went through this when she had no husband and she knew she would be shunned by society, because God asked her to. That woman was badass! And then she carried God’s son. God in flesh. Incarnate. It’s mindblowingly tactile, outrageous and miraculous. Honestly, it has a whole new meaning, and I fill up every time I think about it.

But overall, I’m adjusting to the idea quite nicely. When I need reassuring, the message board function on my pregnancy app is great. But it is so easy to get sucked into the black hole which is the internet! Not all of it is helpful. Nathan has banned me from looking at the ‘how likely am I to miscarry today?’ website. A wise move on his part.

I’m enjoying hiding a pregnancy test in each of my normal weekly check-in blog posts too! It makes me smile.

More soon!